Come Away, My Love

I have been troubled lately by what I have been seeing online in my circle of “Christian, homemaking, homeschooling”, etc, etc. blogs that I read regularly. All of the strife, arguing, hate-mongering, and just plain old ugliness that is out there. Among Christian women! And outside of that there are those who are hostile to my way of life; throwing insults at not only me, but my precious family as well. And the worst part of it is that I am almost trying to please them, in a way! I am making a general, sweeping statement here, since, of course this doesn’t apply to absolutely everyone, but I do have a point: I am sick and tired of it! I can’t seem to focus because this soup of ugliness is causing a fog in my brain. I have noticed a somewhat depression setting in which is affecting my work. And I am saying, “Enough!”

Elizabeth spoke to my heart as I read this today. It is exactly what I have been needing to hear. It cleared up some of the foggy feelings I have been having. Read the entire post, but I am quoting my favorite part here:

“My young friend wants to know how much time is okay to spend alone. And I’ve pondered this for quite some time. I think we need time alone. Some of us need more time than others. I don’t think time spent on the computer is time alone. There is the rare e-mail friendship that involves long “letters” that might qualify as time spent shoring up. But the time spent surfing for ideas from decorating to dinner (not to mention researching educational philosophy) is not time spent alone. The time spent on message boards, blog comments, and email loops is not time alone. It’s time in a crowd, sometimes a very large crowd. And it has much the same effect.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time in doctors’ offices this week. From orthopedists to obstetricians to radiologists (and back around in circles), I noticed one thing: everyone was working. The people in scrubs, the people in lab coats, the people in office attire, no one was slinking away from her work to check her mail, contribute to an online conversation or surf for craft ideas. Mothers at home have more freedom than all those people I watched work this week. We can call the computer from its sleep mode “just for a minute” to do any or all of the above tasks and no boss is going to frown upon the habit (or worse). But a habit it becomes and a minute becomes ten or twenty and then we go from just clicking and reading and  start to write a response and suddenly the afternoon is gone. Or we don’t write a response, but we arise from our chairs troubled by something we read and we hold it in our heads as we go about our daily rounds, and we wonder why we feel frazzled.”

How true this is!

I have become my own worst enemy in this sense because these people can only bother me if I make the deliberate choice to move my mouse and click. They can only attack if I let them in. They can only distract me if I sit down in this chair and focus on this screen.

So I am setting limits for myself, because it has gotten out of control. I will limit my online time to two hours a week—one hour Wednesday evening and one on Friday evening. I need to clear my mind—no, Jesus needs to clear my mind and return my focus to Him; remind me of what He created me for. Also, I need to stop comparing myself to others, because I will never measure up to a portrayed image online. People can show anything they want and omit what they don’t want to show; that doesn’t mean it is always as perfect as it looks.

I do need time alone—really alone—with the One who loves me and holds me dear. If I need inspiration, who better to turn to than The One Who created beauty? I need Him to remind me again how to love on these precious ones He has entrusted into my care.

Pray for me!

More From Hannah

MOM:  I love you, Hannah.

HANNAH:  I love you, too.  You know why I love you?  I love you because you smell like taco salad.

Hmmm…must be that new perfume.  At least I smell good enough to eat.

Hello world!

Trying things out over here; still getting the hang of things, learning to use the features so bear with me!