Lost my cool

So today I raised my voice at one of my daughter’s “friends”. She lives in the neighborhood; and the friendship started well enough, but now this child has become very mean-spirited–doing things such as threatening to throw dirt in my son’s eyes, name-calling, chasing and threatening. And today, it was putting a clarinet to my daughter’s ear and threatening to blow it; and then telling her that her clarinet is more important than my daughter’s ear. My daughter tries to avoid her since things have gotten bad , but as we live so closely and the girls share some of the same friends it can be difficult. And today I got so angry I walked down the street to her and told her what she did was wrong and that she shouldn’t treat her friends that way. Her eyes were wide, and she said “okay”, and then I told her she could tell her mother if she wanted to. (A little background; in the past I have spoken to her mother about these things, and while my children may not always react in the right way, and they are disciplined for it, the mother tells me “she just doesn’t understand”. And then it just keeps happening. ) And so I am expecting a phone call at anytime.
Sooooooo, what should I have done? If it were me, I may have been able to forgive and let it pass, but when it comes to my children, my “mother bear” instinct sets in. I try to let them resolve their issues themselves. My daughter will come and tell me if they have had an argument and what was said, and what she did, and then we’ll discuss if that was the correct way to handle it or not. But when it comes to physical threats, I have to get involved. I know what God’s Word says:

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” -Matthew 5:44

I did not do any of this! 😦 I let my anger be my guide, and was a terrible example of a Christian woman. She is not a Christian and I didn’t give her a reason today to want to be one! I did not say anything I regret in anger; all of my words were what I would have said even if I had been calm ( I thank God for that). But I do regret my tone and angry demeanor.

That being said, if anyone has any words of wisdom I would greatly appreciate them. (Trolls and anyone attacking my Christianity need not reply.)

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3 Responses

  1. Just some encouragement, Jessica.I think you did the right thing.Back in the old days,when our Western Culture was far more godly than it is now,it was quite common if a child was behaving badly for someone in the neighbourhood to pull them up & give them a talking to (as we would say here in Australia)-Sometimes a child like that needs to hear it from someone else to make an impact.
    One day I pulled up a friend’s child who was misbehaving in our home, in front of the Mother.She turned around & thanked me for it.I often feel guilty about my tone of voice too & apologise to my children for it & seek the Lord for greater self-control.But I think any Mum, Christian or otherwise would forgive a one-off angry outburst,as we all know what pregnancy hormones can do to a normally controlled person.I hope this helps you feel better.
    Glad your morning sickness is lifting.I had it for 17 weeks with Zara.
    Blessings,
    Claire

  2. I wouldn’t worry about it, really. You handled yourself beautifully, and clearly this other kid needed to hear what you said (among other things – spare the rod and all that). You were simply protecting your daughter, and in my opinion, did it beautifully. Don’t fret over the anger thing. 🙂

  3. Personally, more power to you. I don’t know what ‘angry’ is with you, but a stern tone may have been needed and from someone she respects. Perhaps she has no respect for her own family/parents. Would explain her behavior…

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